


She Looked At Me With Bloodlust And World Domination In Her Eyes

by AlexIsOkay



Category: Monster Prom (Visual Novel)
Genre: Canon Typical Everything, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-03 08:30:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14565096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexIsOkay/pseuds/AlexIsOkay
Summary: Vera Oberlin had never paid much attention to Miranda Vanderbilt, always writing the princess off as an innocent, naive little girl. Until she found out about the Machiavellian war crimes. Those were objectively hot.





	1. If I Weren't So Shy (And So Committing A Crime) I Would Have Asked For Your Name

Vera Oberlin scanned her eyes across the screen of her phone as she flicked through her Instagram feed, though she remained largely unimpressed by anything she saw there. Cordelia Vaunstraughtenbrach had uploaded so many nip slip selfies in a row it seemed about time to unfollow her, despite the drama that would inevitably cause, and Joey “Daggerhands” McStabbington was still hyping up the party he was throwing this weekend, though after hearing that he had hired DJ Literally Just Screaming to spin Vera had decided she would most certainly not be attending. Across the table from her Damien and Scott were having a discussion that had started out having something to do with inventing a new sport but had since, as most conversation with Damien tended to, just devolved into talk about something called “Stabball.” Which, based on the little bits Vera had actually paid attention to, pretty much just sounded like stabbing. She was fairly certain there wasn’t even any ball present.

“But if there’s no point system, how do you know who wins?” Scott asked.

“Oh, there’s a point system alright.”

“Can you two be quiet for five seconds?” Vera groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose as she spoke. “You’re giving me a headache. And my snakes headaches. That’s like, fifteen headaches at once. Do you know what it’s like to have fifteen headaches at once?”

“I know what it’s like to have fifteen heads at once,” Damien replied. “I mean, not fifteen of my _own_ heads. Not on me. But like, in a pile, all pushed together, in my garage.”

“Gross.” Unfortunately for Vera, her fifteen headaches weren’t likely to get any better, as at that exact moment she heard the voice of the one person in their school who was possibly even louder than Scott, banshees and members of the Glee Club (of which there was a disturbing amount of overlap) notwithstanding.

“Heyyyyyyyyyyy! Vera! I’ve been looking all over for you!” Vera groaned even louder at that, though by that point it was too late to hide and pretend she wasn’t there. Her snakes hissed and coiled themselves in closer to the sides of her face, but a moment later she felt an arm sling itself around her shoulder as Polly came up beside her anyway. “What are you doing this weekend?”

“I have a feeling you’re about to answer that question for me.”

“Damn right I am! I scoped out this KILLER party!” Polly said, which immediately seemed to catch Damien’s interest.

“Killer party, you say?” he asked, seeming to take that entirely too literally.

“Yeah! Hottest party of the whole year! ‘Course, I’m not sure how you’re gonna get in,” Polly added on, putting a finger to her chin as she thought it over. “I figured the two of us would just flash the bouncer, but I dunno how well that would go over for you.”

“I’m not flashing any bouncers,” Vera growled. “And if this is Joey’s party, I already know about it. I’m not going.”

“Aww, but Vera!” Polly whined. “DJ Literally Just Screaming is gonna be there! He’s, like, my favorite Soundcloud rapper after MC Tentaclefuck Your Ear Canals!”

“That’s precisely why I’m staying as far away as possible. Do you actually enjoy that sort of noise?”

“Of course I do! Ghosts love screaming! It’s like, my favorite sound after moaning!” But, after saying that, Polly crossed her arms over her torso, letting out an indignant huff. “If you’re not gonna go to the party then what _are_ you gonna do this weekend? You better not spend the whole time sitting around doing nothing!”

“I didn’t say I would,” Vera replied. “There has to be something else going on around here. Maybe a gang war, or a political assassination I could get in on.”

“Ooooor,” Polly suggested, a sly look crossing over her face as she used the arm around Vera to tug the gorgon closer. “If you’ve got nothing else going on, the two of us could get together and have another, uh… ‘Study session.’”

“Polly,” Vera said sternly.

“Oh! Or all of us could have a study session!” Scott cut in. “I’m pretty sure I’m failing, like, all my classes!”

“Scott,” Polly replied. “I’m not actually talking about studying.”

“ _Polly_ ,” Vera stressed.

“Huh?” Scott grunted.

“It’s code. For sex.”

“ _POLLY._ ” Vera nearly choked when she heard Polly say that, although she still seemed less shocked than the two boys did. Or at least, less shocked than Damien did. He was gawking now, but as for Scott, it looked like the lovable oaf still hadn’t even realized what he’d just heard.

“Sex?” he asked. “With who?”

“With each other, I’m assuming,” Damien answered. “But uh… Are you two seriously…?”

“That’s not any of your business!” Vera hissed, snakes hissing along with her. It seemed like Polly had far less discretion than she did, though.

“So what if we are?” she shot back. “You two act like you’ve never seen a gorgon and a ghost banging before!”

“I can say with absolute certainty I’ve never seen that before,” Damien replied.

“And you’re not going to,” Vera added on, pushing her hands off the surface of the table as she stood up. “You three are disgusting.”

“But wait! If you think she’s disgusting,” Scott said, pointing at Polly, “why are you having sex with her? Do you have sex with people you think are disgusting?”

“You should be so lucky.” With one last omnidirectional glare from all fifteen of her heads Vera pivoted on her heels, storming off from the table while muttering profanities under her breath. The three other monsters watched her go, all of them silent for a few seconds before Damien leaned in towards Polly.

“Hey,” he whispered. “I’ve always kinda wondered… Are her pubes snakes too?”

* * *

 The area outdoors behind the school could get a bit crowded around this time of day, although Vera carried an intimidating enough aura about her that, when other people saw her storming across the grass with her teeth barred and her fists clenched up at her sides, they knew enough to get out of the way. The lawn cleared out fairly quickly as she got back towards the woods that bordered the grass, and she shoved a hand down into her pocket to dig out a carton of cigarettes before pulling one out and lighting it up. Fortunately, her snakes didn’t also smoke. Otherwise this would be a much more expensive habit.

With the cigarette between her lips Vera leaned back against one of the suspiciously pareidolic trees, shutting her eyes and trying to forget what had happened back in the cafeteria. It wasn’t like she was _embarrassed_ about having people know she and Polly were hooking up, it was just- Actually, no, that was exactly what it was. Polly was genuinely a very embarrassing person, and Vera didn’t need the terrifying image of a merciless and ruthless crime lord she had worked so hard to build up slipping away from her just because of who she was sleeping with. Then again, maybe this was her own damn fault. She probably should have figured Polly wouldn’t have been able to keep something like this a secret. Or anything, for that matter. In that regard it was actually a surprise she’d kept quiet about it for as long as she had.

As she stood there, mainly occupied by her own thoughts, Vera was eventually distracted by a noise coming from behind her. It sounded like the rustling of branches, and like twigs cracking underfoot. There wasn’t inherently anything strange about that, and the odds seemed pretty good that it was just Scott wandering out to find a random tree to do his business against. However, given that there was also a non-zero chance Old Sharktooth Donny had finally sent out that assassin Vera had been waiting for ever since the incident at his wedding last year, she found it prudent to twist around towards the source of the noise anyway. She peered into the woods, eyes scanning back and forth through the relative darkness for a few seconds, until she finally saw…

Miranda Vanderbilt. Vera was familiar enough with the aquatic princess to know who she was, although the two of them had never really spoken much before. Miranda had always struck her as a certain sort of girl; specifically, the sort that was entertained by sunshine, and rainbows, and kittens, and other frustratingly cheerful and adorable things that Vera couldn’t stomach (although maybe she could stomach kittens in a more literal sense, provided they hadn’t grown too large yet). She always carried a certain aura of innocence and naivety with her that Vera found uninteresting at best, and obnoxiously off-putting at worst.

That was why it was so shocking to see her coming out of the woods splattered in blood.

Despite the blood that was covering her face and uniform in a decidedly splash-like pattern, Miranda still seemed to be as chipper as ever. She was walking along with an enormous smile on her face, and even seemed to be humming a quiet tune to herself. All of this stopped rather suddenly when she saw Vera staring back at her, though, and a startled expression quickly came about her instead.

“O-Oh! Uh- H-Hello!” she blurted out, taking a little step backwards.

“Hey,” Vera replied. “You’ve got a little something… Here,” she said, before gesturing to her entire body.

“Haha! So I do!” Miranda laughed back, clearly quite uneasy. “You see, uh- One of my eating serfs was enjoying a fine jelly pastry in my presence, and he foolishly cut into it too vigorously, splattering jelly all over me!”

“You sure?” Vera asked. “Because that looks a lot like blood.”

“Simply a coincidence!”

“It’s absolutely blood.”

“Blood-like jelly!”

“Blood-like blood.” At the persistence Miranda let out another small laugh, before her eyes narrowed, and she quickly glanced around to take in their surroundings. Seeing that there was no one else nearby she leaned in closer, waving Vera in as well and dropping her voice down to a whisper.

“Okay. Can I trust you with information that you could potentially use to blackmail me in the future?” she asked. Or maybe she had said “Can you keep a secret?” The two questions always ended up sounding the same to Vera.

“Of course,” she replied.

“Well you see… I recently discovered that a close and trusted associate of mine was actually a heinous traitor, conspiring with the airpeople to steal secrets from the royal family so they could launch an assassination plot against us! So, naturally, I had to have him executed! Of course, I overestimated just how splashback there would be when puncturing a gelatinous blood monster. That was truly a foolish oversight on my behalf.”

“Hold on. You… Killed someone?” Vera asked, blinking a few times as she slowly processed that.

“Good heavens, no!” Miranda replied, clutching her chest and shaking her head. “What a horrid thought! I would never debase myself by doing something so vulgar and violent with my own hands. I have royal executioners to carry out tasks like that. I merely watched.”

“...I see.” The part that shocked Vera, of course, wasn’t the murder. She was no stranger to murder herself, and her wealth and power and reputation hadn’t been built off the back of being nice to people. It had been built off blackmail, and extortion, and, of course, a lot of murder. And occasionally _pretending_ to be nice to people. And then murder. Rather, the part of this that came as a shock to her was murder coming from someone like Miranda. The aquatic princess before her had always seemed so entirely harmless, and this was a side of her Vera had never seen before. She was kind of into it.

“I do suppose it might raise some concern if I were to walk back into school looking like this, though,” Miranda went on, pulling at her shirt as she looked down at the blood staining her outfit. She seemed perplexed, scrunching up her face and puffing out her cheeks with a general look of discontent.

“I can help you out,” Vera replied, glancing back over her shoulder to make sure nobody else had shown up while they were talking. “I’ve got loads of experience getting blood out of clothing.”

“Really??” Miranda asked, eyes lighting up.

“Really. C’mon.” With a quick gesture of her hand Vera motioned for Miranda to follow her, quickly guiding her across the open yard and towards the building that housed the bathrooms. Miranda stayed close behind, eyes constantly darting in every direction for fear of someone else coming across them. Fortunately they managed to make it to the building without incident, and Vera went forward first, pushing open the door and peeking inside to make sure it was empty. Once she confirmed that it was she waved Miranda inside, and Miranda quickly scurried through the door. Vera flicked her nearly depleted cigarette to the ground, stomping it out with her heel before following the princess inside.

“Alright, let’s see what we’ve got,” Vera mumbled, more to herself than to Miranda. She walked over to a supply closet, jostling the knob a few times before she managed to get it open. It was meant to be locked, but the actual lock had been busted for a while at this point, and a little bit of wiggling would get it open no problem. This was something Polly had informed Vera of, immediately before attempting to get high off of every single cleaning product contained inside (to varying degrees of success). It was also an entirely irrelevant feature to Polly, given that she could just walk through the solid door anyway, but she had pregamed on cleaning products from the _other_ supply closet so heavily she had temporarily forgotten that fact.

“Go into one of the stalls and pass your clothes out,” Vera instructed, starting to gather up bottles of bleach, Goo B Gone, Ectoplasm Eraser, and Uncle Bigfoot’s Sheen ‘n Shine. “Try not to breathe too much while I do this,” she added on. “Or you’ll get fucked up.”

“Right away!” Miranda said. She disappeared into one of the stalls, swinging the door shut behind her, and giving Vera a chance to start getting her bottles of chemicals set up on the countertop. She started to run the water in one of the sinks while blocking up the drain in the other, using it as a basin to start mixing together a horrifically noxious blend of cleaning chemicals. “Here you go!” the princess called out a moment later, followed by the sound of a very light thump. Looking back Vera saw a pile of clothing come sliding under the door (neatly folded, which seemed excessive), and she walked over to get them. She could see the shirt, shorts, and socks, though when she picked them up something else came falling loose. As she watched the pink, lacy garment drop to the ground it took her a moment to realize that she was looking at a pair of royal underwear, and another moment beyond that to realize Miranda’s bra was still stuffed into the pile as well. And then, even after that, it was a few more seconds of silent staring before she brought herself to speak.

“...Are you completely naked in there?” she asked.

“Yes!” Miranda replied.

“You could’ve kept your underwear.”

“You told me to remove my clothing! You didn’t specify to leave anything on!”

“Yeah, but- Forget it,” Vera sighed, dropping Miranda’s bra down onto the floor alongside her panties and sliding them both back under the door with her foot. “Put those back on. I’ll take care of everything else.”

“Your instructions are frustratingly unclear,” she heard Miranda huff from inside the stall, though Vera just rolled her eyes in response. She took the stack of clothing over towards the sinks, pulling up her sleeves before plunging them down. The horrific cleaning concoction worked quickly, at least, already starting to remove some of the blood that had soaked into the fabric. It took a few rotations back and forth to fully remove the stains, alternating between the cleaning products and the running water, but eventually the clothing was looking as good as new, any indication that it had been collateral damage in a bloody lunchtime schoolyard execution completely removed.

“Alright, I think it’s good,” Vera called back to the stall, holding the clothes above the sink to start ringing them out. “I can’t get them totally dry, but… You’re a fish person, right? So that shouldn’t bother you.”

“Not in the slightest!” Miranda called back. “I actually find it more comfortable that way! So in that regard you’ve done me a favor!”

“I’ve done you two favors,” Vera pointed out, sliding the now somewhat soggy clothing under the door again. She heard Miranda rustling around inside the stall as she got dressed again, and after a brief pause the door opened up. The princess was standing there fully dressed again and, aside from the fact that her clothing was decidedly damp (and the blood still splattered over her face, which could easily be dealt with), she looked as good as new.

“I’m well aware!” Miranda replied, adopting an uncharacteristically serious expression as she put a fist to her chest in what Vera had to assume was some sort of salute. “My kingdom is now indebted to you. I will not forget this kindness!”

“Oh yeah? Interesting. I’ve never had a princess owe me something before,” Vera said, thinking out loud as she walked over to the sink again, pulling the stopper at the bottom of the pool of chemicals so it could start draining out. Miranda came up alongside her, splashing some water onto her face to clean off the blood that was still left there.

“If there’s ever anything I can do to repay this kindness, don’t hesitate to let me know!” she insisted in between the splashes. “If I were to walk back into the school building with blood covering my entire outfit it could cause irreparable damage to my entire image of a princess, and that’s something that I simply could not allow. I don’t think it would be an exaggeration to say my entire reputation has been saved by you today!” Vera felt it would absolutely be an exaggeration, but she wasn’t going to say as much and ruin the good thing she suddenly had going on for her here. After rinsing off her own hands she shut off the water, and Miranda did the same a moment later, looking at herself in the mirror one more time to make sure everything was in order. Satisfied with her appearance she turned to Vera, resuming the same serious expression she’d had a moment before. “Thank you again for your help! I’m in your debt.”

“I’ll make sure you pay me back soon enough,” Vera promised, head already starting to fill up with every possibility about what sorts of favors she could squeeze out of this girl. “See you around, princess.” The name had been meant with a certain sense of condescension, though judging from the smile it produced on Miranda’s face, that part hadn’t been adequately conveyed.

“I’ll see you around!” she agreed, before turning and scampering out of the bathroom. Vera watched her as she disappeared, though a moment later her attention was interrupted when her phone went off. Looking down at her screen she saw a text message from Polly, littered with the same sort of nonsense abbreviations she had gotten used to by this point.

“fr tho r we dtf this weekend or am i gonna have 2 settle for that d tier doggy dick,” it read, and attached was a blurry photo of Scott snapped from across the lunch table. Vera sighed, before setting about typing out her response.

“Fine,” she sent back. “Consider yourself lucky I have nothing better to be doing.” Honestly, for an intangible ghost, Polly could be such a handful sometimes.


	2. She Has Two Hands And A Lot Of Snakes To Love

Vera laid back on her bed, holding her phone up overhead while she scrolled through her social media feeds once again. The weekend was upon her, but frustratingly, she had never found anything good to do. No friends to hang out with, no parties, no violent depositions of rival crime lords. Just a boring, uneventful weekend.

As Vera flicked past yet another out of focus, heavily filtered photo of a worn out shoe Liam had posted on his Instagram (she was one of his six followers, though strictly for ironic purposes), her screen was suddenly taken up by the notification for an incoming FaceTime call from Miranda. It startled her, not in the least because she couldn’t remember the last time anyone she knew had _actually_ used their phone to make a phone call. She took a moment to reach up with her free hand, making sure the snakes that made up her hair were neatly in place before she hit the answer button. A large image of Miranda showed up, set against an ornate, gaudy background that Vera had to believe was one of the walls of her family’s palace. A princess would logically live in a palace, right?

“What’s this about?” Vera asked, paying as much attention to her own image inlaid in the corner as she was to the larger image of the other monster. “You’d better have a good reason for interrupting me when I’m busy with something else.”

“I have a very good reason!” Miranda replied, speaking with the level of excitement and enthusiasm that Vera had come to expect from her. “Do you remember when I said I owed you a favor?”

“I would never forget something like that. I don’t remember calling it in, though.”

“Well,  decided to get ahead of things! I think I’ve found the perfect way to pay you back!” Vera was understandably skeptical about that, causing her to raise an eyebrow in curiosity as she wondered where this train of thought was going, but she decided to let Miranda continue. “Do you remember the traitor I told you about the other day?”

“I remember washing what was left of him out of your clothing.”

“Exactly!” Miranda replied, eyes lighting up in a terrifyingly arousing way at the memory. “Well, as it turns out, he wasn’t the only spy hiding inside my court! In the past few days my family has managed to uncover and expose several of his associates. There’s going to be public execution tomorrow!”

“And you’re telling me this because?”

“Because!” Miranda explained. “I want you to be the guest of honor!” Oh. Alright then. When Vera had been thinking about ways that Miranda could pay her back, or favors she could milk from the princess, getting invited to a public execution definitely hadn’t been at the top of the list. Or anywhere on it, for that matter. Still, now that the offer had been extended, something about the enthusiasm with which Miranda had made such a morbid suggestion was… strangely hot.

“I guess I could move some things around and try to free up my schedule,” Vera said, acting like she actually had anything else going on before Monday. It wouldn’t be good for her image to let on that she was just wasting her time at home. “I’ll have to figure out something to wear, though.”

“Make sure it’s not anything you’ll mind getting blood on! We’ll be sitting _extra_ close,” Miranda warned, her expression suddenly darkening in a single instant. It was if a shadow had crossed over not only her face, but the entire room around her. Despite that, though, the grin on her face stretched even wider, sharp teeth barring themselves as the corners of her mouth twisted up in a decidedly inhuman way, and there was a noticeable glint in her eyes. Vera felt her heart skip a beat, and she couldn’t deny the faint warmth that she felt coming to her cheeks. She was glad it didn’t seem to show up on the camera.

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind,” she replied, breaking her eyes away from the screen for a fraction of a second before looking back. “Is there anything else I need to know?”

“Not that I can think of! It all works out then? I should tell my father you’re coming?”

“Yeah, I’m coming,” Vera agreed.

“Excellent! I’ll see you tomorrow, then!” Miranda gave a small wave of her free hand before the call clicked to an end, leaving Vera staring at her Instagram feed once again. That said, she wasn’t actually paying much attention to it all. Instead she was just staring blankly at the image in front of her, not even fully registering what she was looking at while her thoughts lingered on the conversation she’d just had. She was only snapped back to attention when her blankets were tossed aside, and Polly lifted her head up from between Vera’s thighs.

“Who was that?” the ghost asked, looking up at Vera and wiping her mouth off with the back of her hand.

“Hm? Oh. Mirinda,” Vera replied, locking her screen and dropping her phone off to the side.

“Ooooh, Miri? I didn’t know you two were friends!”

“I didn’t either. She just invited me out somewhere tomorrow.” As soon as Vera said that she noticed Polly’s expression change, brows scrunching up a bit, and suddenly she was crawling her way up the bed to bring herself closer to Vera’s face.

“Hold on just a second,” she said, prodding a finger against Vera’s cheek. A very unwanted gesture, considering where those fingers had been thirty seconds earlier. “Are you blushing?”

“I’m not-”

“You TOTES are! Don’t think I won’t notice this!”

“Get your hand away from me,” Vera huffed, swatting Polly off of her. A pout immediately crossed over the ghost’s face, although it wasn’t just because of the rejection.

“Hey, hold on a second!” she said. “If Miri just invited you out somewhere and you’re blushing like this- Is this a date? Are you cheating on me??”

“Am I _cheating on you?_ ” Vera repeated.

“Yeah!” Polly said “Sneaking around behind my back with this aquatic hussy!”

“We’re not dating, Polly.”

“Of course we are!” she insisted. “If you fuck somebody one time it’s just a hookup,” she explained, raising a single finger. “If you fuck somebody twice,” she went on, raising a second finger, “it means they were, like, hella mindblowing. Probably did all the weird shit most people are too afraid to do and you wanna hit it again. But if you fuck someone _three_ times,” she concluded, raising her third finger, “it’s cause you’re dating. There’s literally no other reason to do a triple tap. And we’ve fucked _way_ more than three times.”

“Your logic is terrible,” Vera replied, narrowing her eyes at Polly. A moment later, though, her expression softened, and she glanced back at the phone laying beside her. “Besides,” she added on, “It’s not even a date. We’re just spending some time together.” After Vera said that Polly was silent for a moment, and then an enormous, smug grin spread over her face.

“Ooooh, I get what’s going on here!” she snickered, scooting up right beside Vera and pushing her face uncomfortably close. “You just _want_ it to be a date.”

“You’re making so many misguided assumptions here,” Vera chided. “I see her as a valuable strategic ally. I wouldn’t expect someone like you to understand something like that.”

“Oh, suuuuure. Strategic ally,” Polly replied. “More like… Ass-tegic… Al… Thigh.”

“Ass-tegic al-thigh,” Vera repeated.

“Because you wanna fuck her.”

“Yes, I got that.” Despite how terrible it had been Polly still looked entirely too proud of herself for her joke, though Vera was decidedly less amused by it. “Regardless,” she continued,  “you’re wrong. I don’t have any interest in her like that. I just want to see what sorts of favors and benefits I could squeeze out of a princess. Can you imagine what it would be like to have an entire royal family wrapped around your finger?”

“I literally cannot,” Polly replied. “But fortunately for you, I’ll let you find out! I’m not the jealous type. So if you wanna go after her, I say go for it! You’ve got two hands, and I’m willing to share!”

“Again, we’re not dating.”

“I didn’t get the name Polly for nothing, y’know!”

“Are you even listening to me?” Apparently not. With another pleased grin Polly sat up straight and swung her legs off the edge of the bed, which prompted Vera to raise an eyebrow again.

“Where are you going?” she asked. “We weren’t done here.”

“Huh? You didn’t finish?” Polly replied, looking back over her shoulder.

“Did that sound like I finished?”

“Yeah! I specifically remember hearing you say ‘Yeah, I’m cumming!’” Polly said. Vera stared back at her in dumbstruck confusion for a moment before it clicked, and she buried her face into her hands, letting out a frustrated groan.

“You are, without a doubt,” she muttered, “the stupidest person I’ve ever met.”


	3. I Thought You Were The Belle Of The Ball But You Make A Better Beast

Miranda’s warning, as it turned out, hadn’t been a frivolous one. Their seats during the execution had been right there in the front row, close enough that there had been a truly excessive amount of blood splattering out into the audience. At a certain point she was pretty sure they had even tossed in a bucket of animal blood, just to really add to the effect. Fortunately, she had planned for this: she had made sure to wear her favorite murderin’ jacket, already knowing for a fact it looked excellent with some extra red splattered across it. Miranda, on the other hand, had worn a pristine blue dress that had now been turned into a macabre Jackson Pollock of multi-colored vital fluids (lizardpeople bled green, who knew?).

While Vera supposed the execution was entertaining enough in its own right, she found that lacking a personal stakemade it a bit harder to get properly invested. It wasn’t  _ her _ family that had been betrayed by these trusted advisors, after all, so it was difficult to bring herself to really care as she watched body parts get separated from other body parts in a way that, quite frankly, felt a little tacky. She was no stranger to murder, but the gold plated axes and diamond maiden really just felt like they were pushing things over the top.

What did control a good portion of Vera’s attention was Miranda herself. The gorgon found herself looking over towards her companion more often than she looked up at the actual show, and every time she did she could swear Miranda looked even more excited than she had been the last time around. The princess was quite literally at the edge of her seat, clapping her hands together eagerly while staring up at the gruesome spectacle in front of her, squealing in sinister delight each time an errant splatter of blood flew towards her. She was like a kid on Christmas morning, watching Santa get caught in the bear trap she’d left at the bottom of the chimney. And despite all her claims to Polly about how this meeting was just for strategic purposes, just for the sake of getting in good with a powerful ally, Vera couldn’t deny that her heart fluttered inside her chest just a little bit every time she saw that.

When the execution finally came to a close the gathered audience started to get up from their seats and filter out of the arena, though Miranda and Vera’s own seats were partitioned away from everyone else, so they wouldn’t have to worry about mingling with the commoners. Vera rose from her own seat, wiping some of the blood off her jacket while making sure to leave juuust enough to produce that femme fatale look she had so thoroughly mastered. Miranda, meanwhile, simply snapped her fingers, and a host of servants had already shown up to start cleaning her. It would probably take several thorough washings to actually get the blood out of her dress, of course, but they at least cleaned off most of what was on her skin.

“Thank you again for agreeing to come here today!” Miranda said, looking towards Vera as her servants dispersed. “It was wonderful to have company.”

“Yeah, well, it was a fun way to spend a day,” Vera replied. “Thanks for inviting me, I guess. I should probably start heading home now, huh?”

“Actually!” Miranda replied. “As long as you’re in the area, I was wondering if you would care to join me for dinner?” The offer surprised Vera a little bit. She didn’t think she would be sticking around any longer than this, and she hadn’t mentally prepared herself to continue spending time with Miranda after the execution was over. The prospect was oddly daunting to her; for part of their school’s social elite, Vera wasn’t really sure why this amount of interaction intimidated her so much. Normally the other students would be the ones bending down and kissing her boots, begging to get to spend time with her, and she would scoff and kick dirt in their face. Suddenly, she knew what it felt like for the kissed shoe to be on the other kissed foot.

“Right now? I dunno. I sort of had some other stuff to do today,” Vera said, reaching down into her pocket to dig out her phone. It was really just an excuse, and rather than looking at her calendar she found herself distracted by the dozen missed texts she had from Polly. “enjoyin ur fish tacos?” the one previewed on her home screen read, followed by some emoji usage that was staggeringly obscene, though admittedly very creative.

“Please?” Miranda asked, and when Vera looked back up she found the princess staring at her with a wide-eyed innocence that didn’t at all match the blood still sinking into her clothing. It threw Vera off guard, and even though she only looked for a moment before breaking her eyes away and staring off at nothing in particular, she still felt her heart skip another beat.

“Well… I guess I can clear up my schedule,” she conceded, and Miranda’s response was almost immediate. Before Vera even had the chance to say anything else there was an arm linked around her own, and suddenly she was being pulled towards the exit.

“Wonderful!” Miranda exclaimed, while Vera unsuccessfully tried to dig her heels in to prevent herself from getting pulled anywhere. “I’ll have the guest eating serfs prepared immediately.”

“The- The what?” Vera replied.

“Spare eating serfs! For guests!”

“That doesn’t answer my question.” At that point Miranda stopped again, having not made that much progress towards the door to being with, and she looked back towards Vera with an expression of abject horror on her face. Which was saying something, given that Vera attended a monster school and her threshold for what constituted “abject horror” was pretty damn high.

“Are you saying you don’t have eating serfs of your own?” Miranda gasped.

“Like, serfs you’re supposed to eat?” Vera asked. “Because I’m not usually into vore but if everyone else is doing it-”

“No! Serfs that do your eating for you! It’s decidedly unladylike to be seen putting food into your mouth,” Miranda explained. “So instead, we have serfs who perform this task for us at banquets and other important dinners!”

“I see,” Vera lied. She still didn’t entirely get it, and she wasn’t convinced this wasn’t just some weird power fantasy fetish shit, though to be fair she would absolutely do the exact same thing if she had an army of serfs at her disposal. Unfortunately she wasn’t royalty, so when she forced someone to do her bidding with no financial compensation it was just called slavery, and that was way less classy.

Miranda continued to lead Vera along- the stadium where they had watched the execution was attached to the royal palace, so while the rest of the crowd had filed back out into the streets, the two of them were able to head directly inside. The interior was about what Vera would have expected: gaudy and ostentatious, filled with expensive paintings and statues, and lined with pillars that looked like they might very well have been made from solid gold. From an actual aesthetic perspective the place was a nightmare, and not the good kind, but Vera had a great amount of respect for the age old philosophy of “flash your wealth like there’s no tomorrow.” Shrewd businesswoman that she was Vera was hardly strapped for cash, but being in a place like this still reminded her of just how much disparity there was between the two of them.

As they walked through the halls Miranda gave Vera a bit of an impromptu tour, pointing out different portraits inside their gilded frames and talking about her great grandfather’s genocide against the crabfolk, or her great great grandfather’s genocide against the sealpeople, or her great great great grandfather’s genocide against the penguinkin (in that last one’s defense, Polly had pretty much ruined penguins to the point where Vera was more than alright with the thought of them getting genocided anyway). While she listened to the history lesson unfold, Vera couldn’t help but notice a common thread throughout the Vanderbilt family tree. It almost made her wish she knew her own parents, though now there was probably no way they could live up to the expectations she’d just built for them.

Eventually the tour lead them to the dining room (or rather, one of many dining rooms. Just like with the decorations the number of dining rooms in the palace could only be described as excessive as fuck, and just like with the decorations Vera had an immense amount of respect for that). This dining room was smaller than some of the others, though still large by just about any other standard. There was a long table sitting at the middle of it, lined with a whole assortment of food and a whole number of sad looking people who Vera had to assume were the aforementioned eatings serfs. Miranda moved towards the far end of the banquet table to take a seat at the head of it, and, given that there was only one other chair, Vera ended up sitting opposite her. This left quite a distance between them, but Vera had always said that sitting close to your dinner guests was the poor man’s sitting unreasonably far away from your dinner guests. Once Vera was seated, however, she suddenly realized she had no idea what to do next. Typically this was the point where she would start to dig into whatever meal she had been served, but that obviously wasn’t going to happen this time around. If they weren’t going to eat, she wasn’t even totally sure what the purpose of coming here in the first place had been. Just to sit across a table and talk to each other while other people ate around them? That seemed a bit odd.

“Vera.” She found herself snapped away from her thoughts by Miranda’s voice, and as she looked back she found the princess staring at her, suddenly wearing a somewhat more solemn and serious expression than before.

“What’s up?” Vera asked.

“I do have to admit, I didn’t just ask you to accompany me to the execution for fun.” That was the sort of thing that immediately struck fear into Vera’s heart, especially when she was dealing with a diabolical princess with a penchant for the ruthless trimming of her ranks. Not to say that she hadn’t been pretty into that so far, but it was a much difference experience when she was potentially on the receiving end. Fortunately, Miranda didn’t take long to continue speaking. “You see,” she continued, “as royalty my family and I are always looking for trustworthy, powerful allies. And it has come to my attention that with your career as a…” Miranda trailed off for a moment there, trying to think of a polite way to say what she wanted to say next, though Vera didn’t have that level of tact.

“A crime lord.”

“Precisely!” Miranda clapped her hands together in excitement, nodding along eagerly. “And as a powerful crime lord, I believe you may make a most excellent ally for my kingdom!” Even though Vera had sort of been able to see that offer coming, it still struck her as a bit of a surprise. Her immediate reaction was to ask if it would look bad for a royal family to be colluding with a crime empire, but then she remembered the sort of royal family she was dealing with, and also all of history, so she moved on to her second question.

“What sort of allegiance are we talking here?” Classmate or not, Vera wasn’t in the business of putting personal matters before… well, business. Getting in bed with a princess and her entire royal family sounded like a very promising prospect, as well as a deeply disturbing metaphor, but she wasn’t going to sign onto the first loyalty pact that came her way. Not before knowing she would get as much (or preferably more) out of this as she put in.

“I believe we both have things we can offer to each other,” Miranda began to explain. “As royals and the leader of our kingdom, my family has a certain image to uphold. As a result, there are particular situations where our hands are bound, and we can’t simply go around acting however we want.” Vera was under the impression that going around acting however you wanted was the entire point of a total monarchy, but she allowed Miranda to continue. “However, your criminal empire does not have that restriction. You’re free to do whatever you please, and this would be a tremendous benefit to us. In exchange we can offer you hefty financial compensation, as well as complete legal impunity.” So far so good. “And to make the union official, we’ll celebrate with a marriage!” At that point, Vera nearly choked on the food she wasn’t eating.

“A marriage??” she blurted back. “Between who?”

“Between us, of course!” Miranda said that so casually Vera wasn’t sure whether to be shocked, flattered, or to simply laugh the comment off as a joke. She ended up going with a very awkward combination of the three, laughing uneasily as she leaned back in her chair, face flushing slightly.

“You’re kidding, right?” she asked, but Miranda was quick to shake her head.

“Of course not! Politically motivated marriages are a long and proud tradition within royal families, and while it would admittedly be more typical for me to marry a first cousin, or a sibling, I believe you would make a fine candidate as well. So what do you say?”

Vera really wasn’t sure  _ what  _ to say. When she had agreed to come to the execution with Miranda she absolutely hadn’t expected the day to end in a marriage proposal, politically motivated or otherwise. And while she was almost convinced she could hear Polly’s voice whispering a soft “I told you so” into her ear, Vera hadn’t even been willing to commit to calling this anything approaching a date, let alone commit to marriage.

“You know, that’s really flattering and all,” Vera ended up saying, awkwardly starting to twist a snake around her finger while she spoke. “But uh, I’m trying to focus on my career right now, you know?”

“But this would be focusing on your career!” Miranda pointed out, and Vera realized her normal excuse wouldn’t work here. “It would be a very beneficial move for your status as a crime lord, and you could prove to be a great asset to your empire! I understand this is a large proposition, so I wouldn’t expect an answer immediately,” she added on. “But I encourage you to take some time to think about it.”

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Vera replied, though that was really just the politest way she could think of to say “abso-fucking-lutely not.” “Is there anything else you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Not today, no. Is it time for you to be returning home?” Miranda asked.

“Just about, yeah.” It wasn’t really, and Vera didn’t have anywhere else she needed to be. She hadn’t been expecting this dinner to be so short either. But after the impromptu marriage proposal, she was being left with the sudden urge to get out of there as fast as possible and… Vent about all of this to Polly. Ugh. She hated being forced to confront the fact that she thought about that girl as a friend.

“Very well. I’ll see you at school tomorrow, then?” Miranda asked as Vera stood up from her seat.

“Right,” Vera agreed. “I’ll see you then.”

“I’ll have one of the walking serfs show you out!”


	4. I Won't Say I'm In Love But I'll Drop Some Very Strong Hints About It

“YOOOOOO! You’re getting MARRIED??”

“Polly.”

“I’m gonna throw you the sickest bachelorette party!”

“Polly.”

“With strippers! And fire! And _flaming strippers!_ ”

“POLLY. I’m not getting married.” Despite Vera feeling like that was an entirely reasonable thing to say, Polly looked deeply offended when she heard it. The two of them were sitting in Vera’s room, on her bed, both fully clothed for once. Looking back Vera really wasn’t sure why she had felt compelled to come talk to Polly, of all people, about this issue. She wasn’t even the sort of person who made a habit of talking about her feelings to begin with. And out of everyone she knew, Polly seemed the least likely to actually give her any sort of valuable advice.

“You’re passing up a chance for a wedding? Not just a wedding, a _royal wedding,_ ” Polly insisted. “Do you know how fucking hard you could rage at one of those? They’ve probably got some fancy thousand year old drugs we’ve never even _heard_ of.”

“You’re ignoring the part where, after the wedding, I’ll be _married to someone_.”

“So what! I’ve been married loads of times!” Polly said, which caused Vera to blink in shock. “I mean, like, half of those were while I was taking over some dead guy’s body so legally I’m not sure if they’re my spouses or his, but who cares! I still went through with the ceremony and everything, so those all _basically_ count.”

“Polly,” Vera began to ask. “How many people are you married to right now?” Polly took a moment to consider that, starting to count of on her fingers while muttering out names under her breath. After a few seconds she stopped, though, a look of shock suddenly coming to her face.

“Shit! My third husband still hasn’t paid his child support!”

“You have a-”

“Anyway! Marriage doesn’t have to be a whole big thing,” Polly went on, waving a hand dismissively. “This isn’t the middle ages, where you’ve gotta marry someone when you’re thirteen and stick with ‘em until you die at age twenty. I’ve had acid trips that lasted longer than some of my marriages.”

“And that might be fine for you,” Vera replied, “but we’re talking about two different situations here. I’d be marrying into a royal family, and I don’t think they’d like it if I tried to divorce the princess after a week. I’d rather not end up on the receiving end of one of the executions I saw today.” Even if the thought of Miranda sitting out in the audience watching that was insanely hot to Vera and god dammit now wasn’t the time for this.

“Alright, but counterpoint,” Polly said, raising a finger up. “You would be marrying into a royal family.”

“I just said that.”

“Yeah, but you’re not think about the full implications of it! You would be a _princess!_ ” she pointed out. “And then when Miri’s folks eventually kick it, which I’m gonna assume you two will have had a hand in, you would be a _queen_. Say it with me: Queen Vera. That’s the kind of name you can really nut to.” While Vera didn’t necessarily like the way that had been said, she did have to agree with the general sentiment of it. Something about the title Queen Vera really worked for her. If she already had this many people bowing down and groveling before her based solely on her status as a run of the mill, self-made, non-regal crime lord, she could only imagine how much better it would get if she had all the power of the entire merkingdom behind her. But once again, that was ignoring the most important factor.

“That still doesn’t mean it’s worth marrying her for,” Vera insisted. “You know my thoughts on marriage.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Polly replied, rolling her eyes. “You always say the only reason to marry someone is so it’s easier to take out a life insurance policy before you murder them. And _I_ always say the only reason to marry someone is because once your union is holy in the eyes of the Lord he has to watch every time you two bone down and that’s, like, _super_ hot. But I think we’re both forgetting something very important: _Love_.”

“I don’t love her.” And then, suddenly, Polly was leaning in very close, wearing a surprisingly stern expression on her face.

“Oh don’t you?”

“What are you trying to imply?” Vera asked, narrowing her eyes and keeping her gaze locked on Polly’s for a moment before breaking away. She looked off to the side, though that only caused Polly to lean in even more, until their faces were basically pressed up against each other’s.

“I’m saying you’re acting awfully weird about all this,” Polly insisted.

“I’m not.”

“Oh yes you are! The Vera I know wouldn’t even have to think twice marrying a princess. She’d see a chance to get in with royalty and she would take it, no matter what she had to do to make it happen. You being all unsure like this clearly means there’s something else going on here.”

“Do you realize how stupid you’re sounding right now?” Vera huffed. “If I loved her I _would_ want to marry her. This would be counterproductive.”

“But only if it was a _real_ marriage. See where Professor Polly’s going with this one? She’s cracked this case!”

“I don’t, and you haven’t.” After saying that Vera turned around even more, pivoting her back to Polly. This quickly proved to be a mistake, however, as the moment she had done that she felt Polly come crashing into her from behind. Vera cried out as she was sent cascading forward, falling down onto the mattress with a thud while Polly collapsed on top of her. She was surprisingly heavy for a ghost.

“You’re upset because you don’t wanna have a super fake wedding with her that’s all about power and politics and shit like that. You wanna have an actual wedding with her, because you _looooooove_ her.”

“I do not,” Vera repeated. “Now get off me.”

“Not until you admit you’ve got feelings for her!”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“Then I guess we’re both gonna be stuck here forever, huh?” Vera let out a long sigh at that point, closing her eyes and gritting her teeth together before she begrudgingly started to speak.

“Fine,” she growled out. “I suppose there’s a _chance_ I might have certain feelings that make the idea of entering into a political marriage with her more… Complicated. Are you happy?”

“Awww!” Polly cheered. “Vera’s liiiiikes someone! I never thought I would see this day come, and I’m basically immortal at this point.”

“Will you get off me now?”

“Alright, alright, I’m going. You know, some people would count themselves lucky to be underneath me like that.” Upon saying that Polly did sit up, though, moving back towards the other edge of the bed, and allowing Vera to sit up as well. Even once Vera was upright she still didn’t turn back, electing to continue staring at the wall, rather than facing Polly.

“It’s nothing worth making a big deal over,” she muttered. “It’s just a stupid, fleeting crush. It doesn’t matter.”

“It matters enough for you to throw away a shot at being a queen because of it.” Vera wasn’t sure what bizarro world she had entered into in which Polly made more convincing arguments than she herself did, but she didn’t like it there.

“Well I’m not about to marry someone I have romantic feelings for. That would be terrible.” Vera said that, and then she heard Polly shuffling closer again, although fortunately it didn’t come with the level of energy that resulted in both of them crashing down onto the bed this time around.

“What do you like about her?” The question came as a little bit of a surprise to Vera, even more so when she looked back over her shoulder and found Polly quite close again, but with a much softer expression this time around. She stared back at the other girl for a second or two before tearing her eyes away, once more focusing on nothing in particular.

“Are you really trying to make me do this right now?”

“C’moooon. If you’re feeling this way there has to be a reason for it, right?” Polly pointed out. “So fess up.” Again, Vera was quiet at first. But eventually, reluctantly, she started to talk.

“I guess… I never took her very seriously before,” Vera admitted, letting her mind drift back to the way she had always seen Miranda in the past. “I thought she was just some spoiled rich princess, living in her world of sunshine and rainbows. She always seemed so cheerful and upbeat, like an obnoxious puppy, full offense to Scott. But seeing her all splattered in blood, looking so excited during the execution, or seeing the way she bossed her serfs around like they were nothing… I was wrong about her,” Vera confessed. “She might be even more brutal and ruthless than I am.

“Alright. Sort of a weird thing to be falling for her over, but y’know what?” Polly said. “I get it. Did you say anything to her? Maybe, like… ‘Oh baby, the blood on your face really brings out the color of your eyes.’ Some sappy shit like that?”

“Of course I didn’t tell someone I’m attracted to them,” Vera scoffed. “That would be ridiculous.”

“Hey, you did it with me!”

“I’ve never once said I was attracted to you.”

“Uhh, you totes did,” Polly argued. “How else did we end up sleeping together so many times?”

“I sent you a text saying ‘Come eat me out’ and you did it. And then, since it worked the first time, I just kept doing it. And you kept listening.”

“Pretty sure I’m not _that_ easy.”

“You are.”

“Anyway! If you feel something for her you’ve just gotta tell her that!” Polly urged. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Painful rejection. I’m not the sort of person who sets herself up to be turned down.” As soon as she said that a grin crossed over Polly’s face, and Vera was left with an immediate sense of fear over where this conversation was going.

“Ohhhhh, I get it,” Polly snickered. “You’re scared.”

“I’m not scared,” Vera objected.

“You toooooooooootally are. You’re worried that if you tell her how you feel you’re gonna get shot down and have to deal with rejection for the first time ever. You’re just a big scared baby.”

“I’m not.”

“Hey, do the others know you’re secretly a huge scaredy cat? What do you think they would say if they found out? I can basically already hear Damien’s voice mocking you right now. ‘Hey, Vera! Is it alright if I eat this chicken in front of you? They’re not your family, are they?’ And then Scott would start freaking out because he doesn’t get the joke and he actually thinks your parents got fried up, and Liam would have to try to explain it to him being like ‘No, you see, it’s just a joke because a chicken is what you call a cowardly person, and Vera is extremely cowardly, so Damien is implying that Vera and her entire family are actually chickens,’ but Scott still wouldn’t get it ‘cause you know how that guy is with metaphors, and-”

“Fine! Fine, I’ll do it!” Vera snapped. “If it gets you to shut up I’ll do it! Are you happy?” Vera was seething at this point, though as she looked back at Polly through narrowed eyes, Polly was suddenly wearing the biggest shit eating grin imaginable on her face.

“Yeah,” she snickered. “I’m pretty happy.” Vera stared back at her, letting out a defeated sigh as she realized what sort of position she had just let herself get worked into.

“God dammit,” she muttered under her breath. “I can’t believe that worked.”

“Face it,” Polly said, scooting a little bit closer. “I basically know you better than you know yourself at this point.” Some part of Vera hated to think that might actually be true.


	5. Sleeping With The Fishes (And The Fishes Are Into Foot Stuff)

Vera wasn’t used to feeling nervous. This was unusual for her. Other people were supposed to feel nervous in  _ her  _ presence, but she wasn’t meant to care about what they thought. Her stomach felt like it was jumping up and down, and her mouth was dry. Polly insisted this was normal, but Vera wasn’t convinced. She still had half a mind to take herself straight to the hospital.

Vera had requested that Miranda meet her in person, so she could say all the things Polly had goaded her into saying. There was a part of Vera that had simply wanted to send Miranda a text saying she wasn’t interested in the marriage and then never speak again, but Polly had refused to let her do that. She had also roped in Damien and Scott to guard the exits of the park where Vera and Miranda were supposed to meet, just in case Vera got cold feet and tried to turn tail and run. Vera felt that was a bit excessive, but she had to admire the brutal efficiency of it.

As Vera stood there waiting for Miranda to arrive, she found herself constantly fidgeting with her phone, looking down at her screen and reading through the enormous wall of encouragement Polly had sent her. It started out with a long string of messages telling Vera she had this, and that there was nothing to worry about, followed by promises that once this was done they would celebrate by going out and getting “so fked up ur snakes r gonna have hangovers 2,” and then a disturbingly descriptive series of messages about all the wild threesomes they could get up to now that Miranda was in the picture, with a bizarre and rather out of place interlude in the middle about making sure to ask Miranda if she had any good book recommendations. Vera wasn’t sure why she thought any of that would make her feel better.

“Vera!” Her stomach felt like it was trying to burst free from her body when she heard Miranda’s voice calling out to her. Looking up from her phone, Vera saw the princess walking towards her, looking to be in high spirits and waving excitedly. “I was glad to see you call me here! You have good news, I hope?” Normally crushing someone’s happiness like this was the sort of shit Vera lived for. But in this specific circumstance, she actually felt sort of bad about it. What the hell was wrong with her?

“Not exactly.” The eager expression immediately disappeared from Miranda’s face, and Vera could only look for a second before she found herself breaking her eyes away. “I wanted to tell you that I’m not interested in your offer.”

“Ah. I’m disappointed to hear that.” Miranda’s tone was flat now, and it made Vera feel another pang of what a more emotionally well-adjusted person would have been able to identify as guilt. “Can I ask why? I still strongly believe this would be a mutually beneficial engagement, and I’m surprised to hear you disagree.”

“It’s nothing to do with that,” Vera replied, shaking her head. “It’s… More complicated.”

“Complicated how?” Miranda asked, and this was the part Vera was afraid of. Talking business and politics was easy for her, practically like second nature by this point. But opening herself up? Talking about feelings, and emotions, and all that other mushy bullshit Polly had somehow convinced her was a good idea to get into? These were uncharted waters, and Miranda was the siren sitting on the rocks, tempting her to jump overboard. Although by this point, she was already in well over her head.

“Complicated as in…” Vera ended up trailing off about as quickly as the sentence had started. She had sort of hoped that if she just jumped in and barrelled through that would be enough, but that didn’t seem to be the case. Suddenly words were getting caught in her throat, and while she knew what she  _ wanted _ to say, she was having a difficult time actually making herself say it.

“Are you alright?” Miranda asked, adopting a look of concern now as she watched Vera stumble over her words.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Vera tried to insist. “I just- I-”

“If you need to sit down-”

“I said I’m fine!” Vera snapped, swatting away the hand Miranda had been reaching out towards her with. “I just- I don’t want to marry you because I have  _ feelings  _ for you, alright??” she blurted out. Miranda looked understandably taken aback when she heard that, blinkling as she slowly processed this information.

“Feelings?” she repeated. “As in…?”

“As in- As in  _ romantic _ feelings!” Vera spat, lacing the words up with all the venom and disgust and loathing she felt towards the concept. And, now, towards herself as well. “It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? I’m turning down an offer like this because of  _ feelings _ . I know I should marry you, and then either divorce your for the alimony or have you assassinated if there’s a chance of seizing power, but I- I don’t  _ want _ to do that,” she confessed.

“Vera…”

“For some stupid reason I’d rather just  _ talk  _ to you, and be around you. I’d rather go out to dinner with you than poison your food at a banquet. I think the thought of actually getting to spend time with you or go on dates sounds-  _ nice _ . What the hell is wrong with me??”

“Vera.”

“I’ve never felt this way before!” she cracked. She knew she was letting her emotions get the best of her, but she was past the point of caring. She was shouting now, hands clenched tightly at her sides, eyes beginning to water with frustrated tears. She could feel her snakes coiling in towards her face, peppering her cheeks with affectionate little licks, but she ignored those as well. “For some reason I just- I  _ care _ about you, and think about you too much, and- Why am I like this??” she demanded. “Why do I feel this way?? What did you do to me??”

“Vera!” The sound of her name being shouted was punctuated by a sharp crack as Miranda brought her hand down across Vera’s cheek. The impact stung, though more surprising than that was the fact that Miranda had actually just slapped her in the first place. It managed to stun Vera into silence, and for a moment they both stood there, rigid, Vera’s head still twisted off to the side and Miranda’s hand still held in the air at the end of its arc. Then, after a few seconds, Miranda started to step forward, reaching the same hand out to much more delicately cup the area she had struck just a moment before. She gently tilted Vera’s head to look towards her, and Vera allowed herself to be guided like that, looking back until she was face to face with the princess again. One of her snakes slithered forward as she did so, coiling its way up and around Miranda’s forearm, though Miranda didn’t seem to mind.

“I wouldn’t have chosen just anyone to extend this offer to,” she said, staring Vera directly in the eyes as she spoke. Regardless of politics or power, I wouldn’t marry someone I didn’t think I would be happy with.”

“Miranda…” Vera started to ask. “What are you…”

“I selected you because of your business prowess and your criminal connections, yes” she explained, “but also because I enjoy your company as well, and I truly believe I would enjoy having you as my bride. I think you would make an excellent suitor, in all regards.” And then, before she spoke further, Miranda’s face seemed to darken again, and her eyes lit back up with that terrifying, thrilling, strangely arousing twinkle once again. “When I think of someone who would be qualified to fill this position… You’re the only one I can imagine who would be able to govern my kingdom with the iron fist it needs to be governed with, to crush rebellious peasants underfoot and keep the serfs in their place, and to help share the gift of our glorious monarchy with all of the neighboring nations. Your ruthless cunning and cold brutality make you more qualified to sit beside me as a queen than anyone I else I know. This isn’t just about alliances,” she said, suddenly leaning in even closer. “Join me, and one day, the two of us will rule this entire world together.”

Vera’s heart was racing by the time Miranda was finished speaking. She realized her mouth was hanging agape, and probably had been this entire time, but despite that no words were coming out. Some part of her still wanted to turn around and book it out of here as fast as possible, Scott and Damien be damned, but before she was able to do that she heard Polly’s voice in her head instead, repeating something she had said before: “You’re just a big scared baby.” So, in there interest of not being a big scared baby, Vera didn’t run. Instead, she did the exact opposite.

Vera threw herself forward at full force, tangling her arms around Miranda’s neck and jumping off the ground to wrap her legs around the princess’s waist. She jammed their lips together, and a moment later her tongue was pushing up against Miranda’s. Miranda’s arms immediately wrapped around her back in turn, but she was only able to support Vera for a few seconds before they went tumbling backwards, hitting the grass with a thud. Even then Vera didn’t pull away, staying there on top of Miranda as she felt the princess’s arms pull her in even closer.

“God, you’re so fucking hot when you talk about tyranny,” Vera growled when she finally broke away from the kiss. She didn’t go very far, though, lips still hovering just beside Miranda’s ear as her hands moved down towards her torso.

“Does this mean you accept my offer?” Miranda asked.

“Call your parents,” Vera said, starting to rip open the buttons on the front of Miranda’s shirt as she spoke. “Tell them we’re having a wedding.”

“Excellent!” Miranda giggled back. “I’ll tell them, right after… This.”

“No,” Vera replied. “Do it during. I’m into that.”


	6. Something Old, Something New, Something Stolen, Something Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up late because I was, fittingly, at an actual wedding. Thanks for your patience!

The wedding had gone beautifully- the platoon of heavily armed royal guards who dragged off anyone not smiling enough or tearing up at the appropriate moments had made sure of it. That said, it wasn’t all perfect: Vera’s head was still pounding pretty heavily from the wild bachelorette party Polly had insisted on throwing her the night before.

“When I asked you to be my maid of honor I explicitly said you weren’t allowed to do this,” Vera had tried to argue.

“Sorry, but I think it’s a little late for you to be reminding me about that now!” Polly had replied, while sitting on the lid of the car trunk their kidnapping squad had shoved Vera into.

She had spent a long time in the shower the morning after the party, pounding back alka seltzer and ibuprofen while trying to scrub her skin clean of a weird rainbow residue that Polly had informed her was “either unicorn blood or leprechaun semen, but that’s about where I blacked out too.” She had also raised objections to Polly being in the shower with her as this conversation was taking place, but the ghost was persistent.

After that weirdness had subsided, the next portion of the morning had been spent trying to wrestle Vera into her wedding dress, which proved to be a much more difficult undertaking than either of them had been prepared for. The harder they tried the less they became convinced that the tangle of white fabric and lace could actually take the form of a dress at all, and they quickly came to learn that Vera’s snakes didn’t respond well to being covered by a veil either. The had ultimately needed to call for backup, and it ended up being Liam of all people who came through in the eleventh hour, fitting Vera into her dress and getting it properly sewn up with a remarkable degree of speed and precision. When pressed about how he knew how to do something like that he insisted it was just the result of being alive for so long, and that he could still remember when all dresses were as complicated and ornate as modern day wedding dresses still were, but that hadn’t been enough to stop Polly from speculating extensively about his secret drag career.

Then, after the dress had been dealt with and Vera’s hangover was at least subdued to a reasonable degree, it was time for the actual wedding. It was hosted at the palace, which was somehow made up to look even more extravagant than usual. Entire crowds were gathered outside to celebrate the princess’s marriage, though they weren’t allowed past the gates, and also looked like they were maybe being kept there and made to celebrate by force. Enormous banners hung from every conceivable surface while orchestras filled every inch of air with music, and the chapel where the ceremony was to take place was filled with nobility and extended family (those that hadn’t already been assassinated in ruthless power grabs, at least). Vera was honestly feeling nervous and self-conscious about getting up in front of so many people for an occasion like this one, and even with Polly shouting words of encouragement far too loudly from the audience, she still couldn’t shake the anxiety.

And then she saw Miranda, and all of those thoughts vanished in an instant.

Miranda looked absolutely _gorgeous_ , more beautiful than anyone else Vera had ever seen in her life. Her dress was floor length and then some, trailing behind her as she walked down the aisle, veil covering her face while she held her bouquet in front of her chest. Even from a distance Vera could see that she was smiling, and it made her heart flutter. It was at that moment the full weight of the situation hit her: she was getting _married_. And maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t all just for show and politics. Maybe this would really last.

After the ceremony was over, everyone had moved into the castle’s banquet hall for the reception. People were packed together at long tables, music was loudly being played from one edge of the room, heaping plates of food were being passed around between guests, and Vera was slouching out of her chair at the head of the room, leaning up against her new wife in a decidedly unladylike fashion, both of them still spattered with blood after the traditional cutting of the drake (apparently, in royal families, it was customary for a princess to slay a dragon on the day of her wedding).

“Your family is intense,” Vera said, prompting Miranda to giggle softly.

“They are,” she agreed. “But you can’t really blame them. It’s not every day they get to watch their daughter get married. Typically, a princess only gets married four or five times in her entire life.”

“Maybe they’ll have chilled out a little by your next wedding.”

“Assuming I have another one.” That comment made Vera’s cheeks flush, and very quickly she was looking off towards the side, breaking eye contact away from Miranda. A moment later she saw something hanging into the top of her field of vision, though, and she lifted her eyes enough to see Miranda dangling one of the truffles she had picked from the dessert cart down into her face. With a reluctant sigh Vera opened her mouth, and Miranda dropped the sweet into it. Vera chewed for a few seconds, then swallowed, before speaking up again.

“So this is the way things are going to be now?” The question seemed to confused Miranda, who tilted her head as she looked back down at her wife.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“I mean… I’d hate to think things are about to get all boring and domestic now that we’re married. If our typical Saturday night turns out to be sitting around at some banquet while we have to listen to a bunch of stuffy nobles ramble on about something no one gives a shit about…”

“Relax,” Miranda laughed, shaking her head to dismiss the worries. “Even as my wife, you won’t have to come to any banquets you don’t want to come to. I can tell them you’re tied up with other important business.”

“But you’ll still be stuck at them. What’s the point in being married if I won’t have a partner in crime?”

“I’ll be sure to leave enough room in my schedule to go on daring heists and ruthless assassinations with you,” Miranda promised, reaching down to run her hand through Vera’s hair. The snakes hissed contentedly as she did so, seeming to be at ease, and one of them even started to coil its way up Miranda’s arm, affectionately flicking its tongue over her skin as it went.

“Good,” Vera replied. The two of them stayed silent for a moment after that, Vera looking up at Miranda from her inverted point of view, before Miranda leaned forward. She closed the space between them, pressing her lips up against Vera’s, and Vera reached an arm up to drape it around Miranda’s neck in turn. She knew this probably shouldn’t have filled her with the strange little tingle of excitement it did- they were married, after all, and that went far beyond a simple kiss. Still, for some reason, she felt her face heating up just the smallest bit from the embrace.

“YOOOOOO!” Any tenderness that might have been found in the moment was interrupted by the sound of Polly’s voice as she came up behind Miranda’s chair, slinging herself over the back of it to interrupt the newlyweds. She was still wearing her bridesmaid dress, though it was clear certain “modifications” had been made, and it was now much lower cut than Vera remembered it originally being. With a groan Vera pulled herself away from Miranda, looking up towards Polly through narrowed eyes as the ghost started to blabber on.

“There’s the happy couple!” she said. “How’s it feel to be married? Pretty cool, right? Especially your first time, I remember how wild that is. And you two haven’t even gotten to the wedding night yet! Speaking of which,” she added on, sly look crossing over her face, “think your marriage bed has room for one more?”

“Polly.”

“You’re right, you’re right. You two are gonna want your first time as a married couple to be special. I can wait ‘til after you guys have broken in your nuptials and your niptials to get in on that action.”

“ _Polly_.” Despite Vera’s apparent distaste for everything Polly was saying, however, Miranda was still just laughing along politely, seeming more amused by the comments than anything else.

“Thank you for coming to our wedding,” she said. “It’s wonderful to have so many of our friends here to support us.”

“Are you kidding? I’d die again before I missed something like this! Weddings are a chance to fuckin’ RAGE! Which does remind me,” she said, suddenly looking up and over towards one of the banquet tables. “I totally spiked the chocolate fountain so shit’s gonna get wild in like… Six to eight minutes.”

“Wonderful,” Vera groaned.

“Well I had to do _something_ to mix it up!” Polly insisted. “I mean, take a look around! Everyone’s just sitting there being boring! I’m the life of the party right now and I’m not even alive!”

“That’s because they’re eating, Polly,” Vera retorted. When she looked to Miranda for support, however, she found that Miranda actually seemed far more open to the idea, and suddenly she was greeted by horrible thoughts about the kind of hell she would be subjected to if Polly became friends with her wife.

“She does have a point,” Miranda admitted. “They’ve probably all had enough time to eat by now. We could start the dancing.”

“Yeah!! Let’s get a mosh going! WOOO!” Through Polly’s enthusiasm Miranda looked towards Vera with a hopeful expression on her face, and Vera looked back with one of skepticism for a few seconds before conceding. Less than an hour into their marriage, and she was already feeling whipped.

“Alright,” she said, pulling away from Miranda and standing from her chair. She started to walk forward, but only made it half a step before she felt something pulling at her arm, and she looked back to see that Miranda had taken hold of it.

“Before we open the floor up to everyone else, though,” Miranda said, “it’s tradition that we have our first dance as a wedded couple.” Vera knew that was coming- it was tradition, just as Miranda had said, and they had even spent time practicing and rehearsing for this moment before their wedding. Still, standing up and dancing in front of everyone sounded like the furthest thing from her idea of a good time, and she was hoping Miranda might have forgotten about it. Apparently she wasn’t going to be so lucky.

“Are you really about to make me do this?” she asked.

“C’mon, what’re you so nervous about?” Polly cut in. “You didn’t have a problem with getting up and dancing in front of everyone last night, and you were wearing _way_ less then!”

“I _what?_ ” Vera hissed, twisting around to glare at Polly again, and Polly quickly clapped her hands over her mouth.

“Whoops! Was that part after you blacked out?”

“This is why I told you I didn’t want you throwing me a party. I swear, if you-” But Vera was cut off mid rant by arms around her waist, and a chin pressing against her shoulder as Miranda got up on her toes behind her.

“Dear, let’s go,” she urged. “I want to show my new wife off to the people.” The rest of the venom Vera had been getting ready to spew caught in her throat at that point, and she felt that familiar blush rising to her cheeks again. She tried to shoot Polly one last cautionary glare, but Polly was looking far too smug to take it to heart. After that Vera twisted herself free from Miranda’s arms, turning around to take the princess’s hand.

“Are you ready?” Miranda asked.

“I don’t think I’m ever ready when it comes to you,” Vera replied, looking out over the assembled crowd, and the large open space towards the center of the room. Miranda only smiled back before she started off ahead, tugging Vera along by the hand. And Vera followed, letting her wife pull her out towards the dance floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that wraps up this story! Thank you all for taking the time to read this, and I hope you like the ending! Writing for a game as wacky and over the top as Monster Prom has definitely been a fun experience, and it's been a great way to push my own boundaries and try stuff I don't normally do. The game's got a really out there sense of humor that I personally adore, and I had a great time trying to imitate that as much as I could. Hopefully I've managed to pull it off! If you've enjoyed this and want to keep up with my future works, feel free to check me out at alex-is-a-writer.tumblr.com, and thank you all again!


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